這是一位留英回國(guó)的創(chuàng)業(yè)明達(dá)（筆名）女士所著作品，書中深入淺出地闡述了‘幸福’是什么？并帶您去尋找幸福！明達(dá)女士在國(guó)外留學(xué)工作了十幾年，去過很多國(guó)家，以她自身的經(jīng)歷、艱辛與感悟撰寫了這部作品。
她曾說過現(xiàn)在的孩子不讀書，不喜歡讀書，這是一個(gè)很大的損失，不僅是對(duì)社會(huì)更是對(duì)自己。明達(dá)女士在新加坡學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)，曾經(jīng)讀過一層圖書館的書籍，可見她淵博的知識(shí)面與深厚的各領(lǐng)域功底。
本頭條從今日起，將以中英文形式，連載轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)明達(dá)女士的文章《了然自我》，帶領(lǐng)廣大讀者走近明達(dá)女士的這本書中，去探索你生命的價(jià)值；陪伴你去找到幸福的；向你的人生目標(biāo)前進(jìn)……
——————編者
《了然自我》系列
（四）
部分二
1.了解自己
了解自己
許多人看到這個(gè)標(biāo)題時(shí)都會(huì)覺得好笑。他們也許認(rèn)為太滑稽了，誰自己不了解。我們問問自己，我們真的了解自己?jiǎn)幔?/p>
我們中有多少人真正地了解自己？
佛教講我們的本性是智慧、愛和快樂。關(guān)鍵是自我領(lǐng)悟。我們需要真實(shí)地理解自我，清楚地了解自我，然后是面對(duì)自我。過程是艱難和痛苦的。如果我們能做到佛的境界，我們就會(huì)找到真正的幸?？鞓贰?/p>
請(qǐng)回答下面的問題去幫助你了解自己。在回答問題的過程中，你也許會(huì)感到受到了傷害；也許會(huì)感到心痛；也許會(huì)感到恐懼。然而，你一定要堅(jiān)信，結(jié)果你會(huì)感到好極了。
實(shí)踐題：
1.你最想做什么？如果你為之努力，現(xiàn)在會(huì)怎么樣？你愿意去做
我想要去做…
2.你為什么認(rèn)為你自己不能做？
3.當(dāng)你回答上面的問題時(shí)，你感到受到傷害了嗎？為什么？
4.你感到恐懼了嗎？為什么？
5.你感到心痛了嗎？為什么？
如果你不能再思考了，請(qǐng)寫下來。當(dāng)你清楚地把自己的想法寫在紙上時(shí)，你會(huì)感覺好多了。
請(qǐng)反復(fù)問自己，并回答這些問題：我感到受到傷害了嗎？ 你仍然感到恐懼嗎？我還感到心痛嗎？如果是，為什么？把答案寫在紙上。反復(fù)問自己這三個(gè)問題，直到你的回答都為“沒有”為止。
為什么你最終會(huì)回答“沒有”？原因是通過紙上的答案你更清楚地看到了你自己。
是的，那就是你。在紙上的你是你自己寫下來的?，F(xiàn)在，我認(rèn)為你會(huì)笑話自己“為什么以前我沒有做這件事？為什么以前我不能面對(duì)自己？”
現(xiàn)在，你應(yīng)該比以前更堅(jiān)強(qiáng)去追求自己的幸福。
面對(duì)恐懼，面對(duì)自己
許多人雖能了解自己，但卻不能真正地面對(duì)自己？
是的。我們中的一些人了解自己，但是不能承認(rèn)自己藏在自己內(nèi)心打造的殼內(nèi)。我們害怕走出來，并暴露出自己的風(fēng)采。我們不能面對(duì)我們自己；我們沒有勇氣去承認(rèn)這些事實(shí)。
我們迷茫；我們內(nèi)心充滿沖突；我們被痛苦折磨著。我的一位朋友對(duì)我說：“有時(shí)我感到完全的與外界隔絕，或我很想將自己與環(huán)境隔離?！?為什么？恐懼是我們生命中最大的敵人。在行動(dòng)前，我們都會(huì)恐懼。然而，大多時(shí)候我們不知道自己恐懼什么。
恐懼來自于你的內(nèi)心?？謶衷谀愕墓穷^里；在你的心里；在你的靈魂中。你甚至不能想它，因?yàn)槟銜?huì)感到毛骨悚然。你異常緊張；你全身的肌肉都變得堅(jiān)硬。于是，你全天候娛樂麻痹自己。時(shí)間飛逝，你感到更加糟糕。你需要做的唯一事情是停止這惡性循環(huán)，去建立良性循環(huán)。你會(huì)感覺越來越好；你會(huì)更加自信。自信會(huì)讓你打開心靈去面對(duì)世界。你會(huì)感到空氣更加清新。
當(dāng)你不再恐懼時(shí)，你將能面對(duì)你自己。
更加了解自己
在我們的生活中，有些人總是問你在做什么呢？接著就說“嗨，我也應(yīng)該做的。今天我也就會(huì)和你一樣成功?！边@種人通常都不了解自己。他們不能了解成功的過程。這些人僅僅看到成功的結(jié)果，而不知道成功的背后的汗水、淚水和辛酸。
獲得幸福的前提是了解自己，面對(duì)自己，知道自己在生活中真正要什么。
曾經(jīng)的一段經(jīng)歷給了我一些啟示。一次我借了一本書，書中講的是一個(gè)成功咨詢顧問的故事。讀了一部分，總感到對(duì)內(nèi)容很熟悉。書讀到最后，才確認(rèn)大學(xué)期間曾讀過這本書。四年已經(jīng)過去了。這次的閱讀效果大不同于上次。四年前，我僅僅是讀了書。隨著生活閱歷的增長(zhǎng)和工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)的積累，我是讀懂了這本書。因?yàn)槲抑懒宋沂钦l和自己在生活中真正想要什么。雖然我走過了幾年的歷程?？蛇@一路走來都是值得的。這個(gè)經(jīng)歷告訴我，生活永遠(yuǎn)都是有價(jià)值的。無論什么樣的生活，是痛苦的或幸福的、是快樂的或不快樂的，都是有價(jià)值的。只不過有時(shí)我們需要時(shí)間來意識(shí)到生活的價(jià)值。
了解自己和面對(duì)自己也許需要很長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間。在這個(gè)過程中，你能找到真正屬于自己的幸福。
SECTION II
1. Know yourself
KNOW YOURSELF
Many people will laugh out when they see this title. They might think it is ridiculous. However, we can ask ourselves if we truly know ourselves.
How many people truly know themselves?
The Buddha taught that our essential nature is wise, loving and joyful. The key lies in self-awareness. We need to truly know ourselves or to know ourselves better, and then to face ourselves. It is hard and hurt in this process. We would gain skills to create our happiness if we could do it.
Please follow the below questions which will help you know yourself better. You may feel hurt; you may feel your heart is painful; you may feel fear. However, you need to believe you will feel better when you have done it.
Practical questions:
1. What do you mostly want to do? How would it be if you did something about it? Would you like to …
“I want to do… but I do not think I can make it.” This is good starting point at least you are brave enough to start your journey now.
2. Why do you think you cannot make the things happen?
3. Do you feel hurt? If yes, why?
4. Do you feel fear? If yes, why?
5. Do you feel painful in your heart? if yes, why?
If you cannot think any more, please write them down. You feel better when you see yourself clearly on the piece of paper.
Repeat the questions and ask yourself, Do I feel hurt now? Do I still feel fear? Do I still feel painful in my heart? if yes, why? Write your answer down on the same piece of paper. Repeat these three question to yourself till your answers are all ‘no’?
Why ‘no’? because you can see yourself clearly on the piece of paper. Is it hurt? Is it fear? Is it painful? No. You can shout to yourself “this is me! This is myself!”
Yes, it is you. It is yourself on that piece of paper which you wrote yourself on. Now, I do believe you may laugh out yourself “why I could not do it before? Why I could not face myself before?”
Now, you should know you are stronger to create your own happiness than before.
Face fear and face yourself
How many people can truly face themselves though they know themselves?
Yes. Some of us know ourselves but we dare not admit ourselves who is hiding in our own shell. We fear to go out of it and show our true colour. We could not face ourselves; we have no encouragement to admitting the facts about ourselves.
We confused; we feel conflict inside; we suffered. One of my friends said to me before, “sometimes I feel totally shut, or I would be willing to shut down myself.” Why? Fear is the main enemy of our life. We all fear something before we act. However, in most time we do not know what we fear.
The fear is from inner you. It is in your bone; it is in your heart; it is in your soul. You feel thrilling even you cannot think a bit. You feel extremely nervous; you feel all muscles of your body are in very tense. So you try to entertainment yourself to fulfill your time and do not want to think about it. As time is flying, you feel worse than ever. The only thing you need to do is to stop the bad circle and build a new smooth circle. You will feel better and better; you will fell you become more confident for yourself, and more confident to open your heart to the world. Then you can breathe in fresh air.
You can face yourself when you leave your fear behind.
Know yourself better
In our life, some one always asked what you were doing. And then they said “oh, I should do it too. Then I will be like you and be more successful”. These kinds of person normally do not know themselves. They did not what characters drive to this stage. They only put their eyes in the successful results and do not notice factors behind the success.
The requisition to gain happiness is to know yourself, to face yourself, to know yourself better and to know what you truly want in your life.
I had an experience which showed me something value. Once I borrowed one book, which is to talk about the successful consultant, in the library. However, I just feel I am familiar with this book. It seemed I read it before. Finally, I recalled I did read it before when I was in university. It was four years ago. The result is very different when I read it. It is right time to read now because I got more experiences from my life and work. I knew I only skimmed this book four years ago. It seemed good book but it is not right time for me. Four years later, I knew who I am and what I truly want in my life even I have been taking a long way to come here. It is worth. So life never is not worth anything. Life is worth something for you. It just takes some time to make you realize the value is there for you.
It might be a long way to know yourself, to know yourself better and to face yourself. In this process, you can create your own happiness in your life.
作者：明達(dá)
